In my work as a coach and facilitator for mission-driven organizations, I’m noticing a troubling pattern: every decision feels like a lose-lose situation, with a heightened risk of moral injury. Many leaders are asking themselves: Do I comply, defy, or lie? Leaders are constantly grappling with impossible choices. Every day, it feels like our core values are on the chopping block. There’s No Easy Answer—But There Is Another Question…
Read MoreThis concept of “shoulding yourself,” coined by psychologist Clayton Barbeau, speaks to the distorted thinking and guilt-ridden pressures that many of us put ourselves through when the going gets tough. By “shoulding” ourselves into feeling or being a certain way, we block our ability to effectively process our grief, give ourselves what we truly need, and build resilience for the future.
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