Self-Perception Shapes How We Lead

We’ve officially made it to year-end.

For me, these last few months have been a particularly heavy lift, as I’ve just completed an intensive business course. The workload was no small feat—nearly 80 hours of learning over three and a half months, plus travel back and forth between coasts.

As expected, I gained a deeper understanding of business acumen and accessing capital; financial projections and perfecting pitches. But what stayed with me most from the program were the conversations about control.

“The only thing we can control is where we want to be.” This quote was shared by entrepreneur Melissa Bradley during our orientation. I imagine she offered this as a grounding truth: no matter how skilled your advisors are, how strong your projections look, or how prepared you feel, full control is an illusion. I wholeheartedly agreed with her statement considering I had already ridden multiple rollercoasters of uncertainty, confusion, and disappointment in the first half of 2025. So, I got to work on orienting toward the future: fixating on where I wanted to be this time next year and brainstorming all the ways I could be both hopeful and proactive.

Along the way, I realized there was something else within my control. Not just where I wanted to be… but who I wanted to be. What began as a personal reflection quickly revealed itself as a critical leadership practice. As we look ahead to 2026—and acknowledge how much will remain out of our control—I believe our work as leaders must include the work of self-perception. Persevering forward will require us to see ourselves clearly first, to be honest about what we see, and to reconnect with who we are at our core. Below are three quotes I’ve been using in my own self-reflection practice as a way to stay grounded in that work.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t… you’re right.”

How we talk to ourselves matters more than we often realize. This quote from Henry Ford is a sobering reminder that when we start perceiving ourselves as unworthy, unready, or incapable, it becomes much easier to act in alignment with those beliefs. If we’ve already convinced ourselves we can’t, believing in our growth or possibility becomes an uphill battle.

Now, this isn’t an invitation into toxic positivity or bypassing real challenges. It’s not encouragement to stay committed to work that is truly beyond your capacity. Rather, it’s an invitation to notice the moments you immediately count yourself out. When things feel hard and your inner dialogue turns harsh, is there a kinder or more grounding thing you could offer yourself? How might “I can’t do this” shift into “I can,” “I will,” or even “I’m willing to try”?

“To Initiate Change, We Can Only Begin Where We Are and As Whoever We Are Right Now.”

This line comes from What It Takes to Heal by Prentis Hemphill, a book we’re currently reading in Do Good Leadership Collective’s Slow Read Book Club. In this passage, Hemphill speaks to the necessity of meeting ourselves exactly where we are. To do this, we have to unhook ourselves from the endless “shoulda, woulda, coulda” conversations about who we think we were supposed to be by now. It’s easy to look at our current circumstances and wish we had made different choices to make this moment easier:

I should have saved more money.

I would have taken that job if I knew 2025 would be this bad.

I could have handled those relationships differently.

These reflections can offer useful insight, but when we stay hung up on who we could have been, we leave little room to fully inhabit who we actually are. It is our present selves--deserving of grace and gratitude-- that must carry the work ahead. No matter who or where we find ourselves, we can initiate some kind of change. It may not look like the change someone else is able to make, but that doesn’t make your contribution any less valid. What’s equally important to remember is that change is not meant to be sustained alone. Be honest about who you are and where you can reasonably begin. Then look outward. The work is done best when built alongside others.

“Be skeptical, but learn to listen.”

This is the fifth agreement from don Miguel Ruiz, building on his original Four Agreements. When I first encountered it, I applied it interpersonally: I need to be skeptical of what others are saying, but listen for their underlying intent and truth. Over time, I saw how this lesson applies intrapersonally. As implied with the first quote in this blog, we must be skeptical about what we tell ourselves. From there, we must listen for our own truth and intuition beneath the noise. This past year has been a loud one, and I anticipate 2026 will be no different. Discernment will be essential—learning to separate your true desires and inner knowing from the voices that aren’t actually yours: inherited expectations, borrowed beliefs, or stories you were told to accept that don’t reflect who you are and what you desire.

Learning to listen to your heart, your intuition, your lived experience, and your own way of knowing is how you free yourself from limiting perceptions—whether they be yours or others’. And that freedom is often what allows us to persevere in the most uncertain of times.

Thank you for reading. If you’re navigating turbulent leadership or entrepreneurship—and looking for support in staying grounded and resilient—I’d love to connect. I’m especially interested in hearing about the self-reflective practices that are helping you strengthen your leadership. As a wellbeing-oriented leadership coach, my purpose is to sit with people in the messiness of leadership and entrepreneurship, and help them find their way forward with more clarity, care, and integrity. Get In Touch.