Subscriber First Name, on Sunday evening I was lounging on the couch with my partner, simultaneously doom scrolling through the horrors of what is happening just a few hours north of me in Los Angeles. I turned to my partner and started on a rant about who was to blame.

He quickly stopped me and said, “Blaming people for what’s going on doesn’t change anything.”

His comment gave me some much needed pause. He was right. Blaming people won’t change anything. It won’t take the pain away. If anything, it would just fuel more frustration to my already seething heart.

These days, it feels like every news alert or social media post is reminding us about all that is bad in the world and who’s at fault. And while we know that blame isn’t the path to real solutions, it can still be so easy (so human, really) to fall into blame-based thinking… especially when we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and looking for answers.

This is true in our workplaces as well 👀 Whether we notice it or not, the noise of blame culture is planting seeds deep into our subconscious. So, it’s no surprise that many nonprofits are experiencing more conflict with their staff. Folks are exhausted, overwhelmed, and looking for answers. Naturally, someone must be at fault.

That’s why Do Good Leadership Collective put together our latest Cultures of Wellbeing blog to support what many of us are quietly navigating: Breaking Cycles of Blame.

In recent facilitations and coaching sessions with nonprofit teams, I’ve been seeing blame everywhere. The reality of doing nonprofit work today has people operating on edge. Our most trusted colleagues and people we would typically give the benefit of the doubt are becoming our enemies. Constructive feedback loops and regressing into cycles of finger-pointing. Confusion is igniting into conflict.

Let me be clear: our coworkers and our bosses are not perfect. People are making mistakes. But rather than staying grounded in models of care and accountability, some people are seeking the upmost punishment for their colleagues. In the midst of it, we are losing sight of our shared goals, and of one another’s humanity.

What I’m learning, and trying to embody in my own leadership, is that grace and growth can coexist. Now, before you question if your boss or coworker deserves more grace than you’ve already offered them—consider this quote from one of my favorite astrologers, Jennifer Racioppi: Grace doesn’t mean bypassing the work.

So, Subscriber First Name, if you’re surrounded by a workplace culture of blame, then how can you get grounded in helping people stay accountable to the work through the lens of care, love, and grace? Here are some other questions that we ask in the blog:

💭 Do I tend to blame a particular colleague, department, or group when something goes wrong? If so, why might that be?

💭 When something slips through the cracks, how do we usually respond as a team? Do we take time to understand what happened or do we immediately try to figure out who’s at fault?

💭 How safe do people feel bringing up mistakes, challenges, or unmet needs? Are there clear practices or signals that encourage honesty and openness? Or do people stay quiet because they fear blame or backlash?

Blame is a cycle that can be disrupted. Healing is a cycle that can be set into motion. Let’s choose the one that brings us closer in a world that is designed to pull us apart.